Have you ever wondered if your spouse really heard what you said? Happens to me all the time. It’s my fault a lot of the time unfortunately. Here are some ways I unwittingly sabotage our communication:
- Ask a question while I’m standing at the sink and then turn the water on before I get a reply.
- Yell up the stairs and expect my wife to hear me when she’s doing laundry and both the washer and dryer are running.
- Ask for something when she’s tired, hungry, or trying to get the kids out the door for church, piano lessons, swim practice, school, etc., etc., etc.
It’s really not intentional!
My bride is smart though. Here are 8 ways she’s figured out to make sure she has my full attention:
- Leaves me a provocative sticky note where I won’t miss it (i.e. bathroom mirror, steering wheel of my car, bottom of the toilet seat).
- Puts an appointment on my calendar.
- Asks me for 3 minutes of my time when I’m free and then she sticks to it. (Being very specific helps me).
- Uses guy language (relates it to my toolbox, sports team, or job)
- Never uses “should” or “always” on me.
- Uses “I” sentences instead of “You.”
- Includes factual information.
- Appreciates me for listening.
I love my wife and yes, I can hear her now!
Kevin Decker. The Marriage Coach
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