Change your version of the script!
As children our parents modeled for us how to deal with relationships and love and anger and work and money and faith, etc. We have this mental map in of how things in our life are supposed to happen. I call it “Emotional Genealogy” or EG. As we grow up our friends, teachers, extended family, etc. influence and impact our EG.
Your EG creates a script in your mind of how you, and others, are supposed to interact in relationships. When others don’t follow our script we tend to make them wrong. Of course, they have their own scripts, thoughts and mental maps and often make you wrong.
You can change your script.
It probably won’t surprise you to know that disparities in couples scripts tend to cause disagreements about the same issues: money, sex, housework, time, kids, in-laws, and how to load the dishwasher. The major difference between couples with successful marriages and couples that struggle in their marriage is how they handle those disagreements.
Successful couples understand how to disagree with each other in a way that doesn’t tear down the relationship but makes it stronger. Successful couples also have attitudes, education, and skills which help them build and maintain long-term happiness and satisfaction.
The good news is that you, and your spouse, also can get the education, learn the skills, and develop the right attitudes to change your scripts for a successful marriage. Sign up for a marriage class, read a book on communication, or contact Coach Kevin for help.
Kevin Decker, Marriage Coach
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